I wont even try to take on two personalities myself. Dear friend you are deep into finals, children, work, etc. I am still here when you are ready to return. In the meantime here are some ponderings.
I reluctantly gave up my Sunday. Sunday is the only day of the week I
have to sleep in, and I am very possessive of my Sunday morning sleep.
I told Annie that we would "do something fun". I kept it vague as to
not over commit myself. An eight year old can be convinced that half
an hour on a McDonald's playscape with an .89 cent ice cream cone is
fun.
We talked about riding her bike, which would involve me running along
side of her holding the seat until I felt she had her balance. I was
not particularly in a running mood. Then her friend wanted to come
"do something fun" with us. For this I was grateful, it meant she had
someone else to talk to and I could be quiet.
We piled into the car not sure where we were going and an odd twist
brought us to a part of town I don't often go. I suggested we go out
to the lake. They protested that they did not have bathing suits,
towels, sunscreen, floaties, etc. I responded with, "So what." They
were skeptical to say the least.
Before we reach the lake there is a hiking trail that follows a
stream, so I pulled over and announced we were going hiking. The
trail is shaded and not only does it follow the stream but you have to
cross it several times. They worried about their shoes getting wet,
and I responded, "who cares." And then tromped in the water to show
them the world would not end with wet shoes. They laughed and giggled
and splashed.
Hot and happy from the hike we headed to the lake. More protests from
my worried little companions, "we only have clothes, we can't get them
wet." Continuing on in my monosyllabic wisdom I said, "why not?" and
I plunged myself into the water. They needed no more reassurance from
me and jumped in.
After I thoroughly felt baptized in lake water I sat on the dock to
dry off. I felt tired and happy, the kids created a complicated game
that involved jumping off the dock and climbing back up again. My
toes dipped in the water and I was mesmerized by the light reflecting
off the water. Blue light coming off the water, tipped with the white
small waves. The feeling of the sun on my skin, the water on my feet
and evaporating from my body was bliss. Then the smells floated over
to me. A family having a barbecue and filling the air with sensuous
smells. As if my senses were not filled enough the children started
laughing as they jumped in the water, then silence followed by squeals
of delight as they emerged. I focused my eyes on the blue light
reflecting from the water and every part of me experienced a quiet
joy. This must be what my heaven will be like. I felt closer to God
sitting on the dock taking in all the feelings around me than I ever
have sitting in a pew in stiff clothing. Then I laughed to myself and
thought, "Nature is my true church."
Happy Mothers Day.
